Jay Leno's Headlines

So I found this article in a catalog for a travel/adventure company, and I'm going to send it in to Jay Leno. Yes, it's 7th-grade humor, but it's still amusing!

And I think I did a nice job Photoshopping the larger image, thank you very much!

On Health Food and Cheeseburgers

So I spent several months getting ready for a wee little triathlon held at Tech on 9/14, and a big part of my preparations involved eating healthy foods. I ate – and still eat – lots of protein and carbs, and I’m drinking a ridiculous amount of water every day. (I’ve even starting taking a supplement intended for livestock, but that’s another story.)

Now, I’ve always been a reasonably healthy eater, but I’ve also always given myself some leeway when it comes to eating out. I tend to rationalize that a healthy diet is about what you eat as a whole, and thus, eating something like a big, fat cheeseburger is OK when it’s time to go out.

Lately, though, that hasn’t been the case. For example, when I recently consumed a huge breakfast bowl complete with eggs, cheese, potatoes, bacon, and sausage, I quickly realized that I hadn’t bought that food so much as I’d rented it for a short time. I’ve grown so accustomed to healthy food that junk food is getting to the place that it isn’t worth the pain and discomfort I know it’ll cause later.

As the realization has dawned on me that it’s better for me to avoid greasy, fatty foods, it has occurred to me that there are some parallels with sin that can be drawn here. As my brilliant friend Sean G. once pointed out, sin has to be appealing on some level, or we wouldn’t struggle with it. Of course, sin has consequences, and it’s dealing with those consequences that isn’t always pleasant. I’m hoping to draw some practical application from the lessons I’ve learned with greasy cheeseburgers.

And for what it’s worth, I recently enjoyed a grilled chicken sandwich at a Texas Tech football game. (Seriously… who goes to a football game and gets a chicken sandwich?!)

Random Thoughts

Random thoughts that I’ve had tumbling around in my head lately:

Facebook Status
A couple of statuses (or is that statii?) that I’ve come up with for Facebook, but haven’t been brave enough to post:

• Glen just had a really stellar poop!
• Glen is thinking that, somehow, Katy Perry’s breakout song wouldn’t have been nearly so popular if it’d been recorded by a male and titled I Kissed a Guy (and I Liked It).

Olympics Coverage
So I certainly don’t have the qualifications to be a professional sports broadcaster, but that doesn’t stop me from snickering at those who are. One of my favorite lines during the Olympics came from a guy who was calling the BMX cycling. At the start of both the women’s and men’s events, he said, “Here we go – winner takes all.”

My thought was, “Really? The winner gets the gold, silver and bronze?”

Microsoft Error
This also makes me snicker: “Currently, there is no solution for the problem you reported.” Yeah, ‘cause the problem was Windows!


(Click for bigger image.)

Eat, Pray, Love

I recently finished reading Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. And I feel obliged to stop here and point out that this is definitely not the kind of book I would normally undertake. Staci asked me to read it so we could discuss it, and I agreed.

Anyway, Gilbert points out early on that she can’t call herself a Christian, which put me on my guard. And while there are spiritual aspects of her book that I simply can’t agree with, there are many others that challenge me.

Among them is a situation in which she describes herself as being completely desperate to hear from God, and she cries out to Him and demands an answer. Immediately, she gets one. In fact, she describes similar scenarios in other places in her book, where she calls on God, and He answers her.

Most of the conversations she describes with God are not examples of places where I can’t agree with her. The responses she describes seem very much in line with God’s character, as I understand it. However, reading her descriptions makes me feel (yeah, I know – I used the F word) simultaneously Pharisaical and jealous:

• Pharisaical because I think, "Hey, that’s not how you’re supposed to approach God." Part of me is indignant that she didn’t deliberately find a quiet place, clear her mind of its clutter, perhaps listen to some good Christian music, read a few Bible passages, and then, with all humility and meekness, politely ask God for His intervention in her life.


• Jealous because part of me says, "Wow, that’s more along the lines of the relationship I’d like to have with God." The steps I described above are more like the approach I take when I think about praying. It shouldn’t be hard to believe, then, that I don’t spend a lot of time praying.

There’s no doubt which approach is more Biblical. In Ephesians 3:12, Paul says, "Because of Christ and our faith in him, we can now come boldly and confidently into God's presence." Come to think of it, it’s also Biblical for God to use someone who’s not in His "club" to teach lessons to those who are.

Baseball Beatdown

I figure all of us have been on a horrendously bad sports team at one time or another. My seventh-grade football team was so bad that before the last game, our coach offered to buy us all a beer if we won. He later insisted he meant root beer, but either way, he was pretty confident he wouldn’t have to pay up.

For all of us who’ve ever had to endure a crushing defeat, we can at least take heart that it wasn’t as bad as this story from Yahoo! Sports:

---

TOKYO, April 17 (Reuters) - A Japanese high school pleaded for a regional game to be abandoned after surrendering 66 runs in less than two innings, local media reported on Thursday.

The coach of Kawamoto technical high school threw in the towel to spare his pitcher’s arm with his team losing 66-0 with just one batter out in the bottom of the second.

The hapless hurler had already sent down over 250 pitches, allowing 26 runs in the first inning and 40 in the second before Kawamoto asked for mercy.

“At that pace the pitcher would have thrown around 500 pitches in four innings,” Kawamoto’s coach was quoted as saying. “There was a danger he could get injured.”

Opponents Shunshukan were officially credited with a 9-0 victory, giving the line score a tinge of respectability for the luckless Kawamoto school.

---

Wow! Even my junior high football team wasn’t that bad!

Sinus Mess

So I’m in the midst of yet another sinus infection. It has occurred to me that I’ve been averaging about three sinus infections a year for the past 6 years, and this is my fourth one since December. It’s really frustrating, especially since training for a triathlon is difficult when you’re sick all the time. Thus, I went to my doctor yesterday armed with the attitude that “if what you’re doing isn’t working, do something else.”

He reviewed my records, and he agreed that something different is, in fact, called for. He mentioned something called a sinus ablation. It’s a relatively new procedure in which the sinuses are removed and replaced with a balloon-like device (kind of like an angioplasty). I had preliminary X-rays done yesterday, and assuming those show that I’m a good candidate, I’m supposed to have the procedure done on May 6. You can read more about the procedure at www.sinusablation.info.

In Hot Pursuit

I’m sitting outside on the patio of Staci’s Grandma’s place in Vero Beach, reading a book, when a splash noise catches my attention. I look up and see a male duck chasing a female around the little lake out back. And I do mean chasing. They’ve been at it for at least ten minutes at this point. Flap, flap, flap, splash. Flap, flap, flap, splash.

I assume this is mating time. It does seem barbaric by our standards, but I suppose that’s the way things are done in the animal kingdom. And you know, I see parallels in that scene and the way God loves us. Not nearly so aggressive, but no less relentless. God won’t force us to love Him, but the Bible refers to the hounds of heaven pursuing us.

I’m stricken, too, with thoughts of how many of us spend a considerable amount of time and energy desperately running away from God’s love. Here He is, trying to surround us with a redemptive, all-consuming love, and we’re trying to escape it with every ounce of our energy. I’m convicted that I, for one, need to stop running and doing for a change so I can just let God inside for a while.

The Arrogance of Believers

I read an article recently in the Daily Toreador, Tech’s campus newspaper. I use the term “read” loosely, because I tend to just skim through the articles very quickly. This particular article had caught my attention because the author was discussing religion. This author was not an adherent of any particular religion, and while I’ve forgotten most of the content, one line did stand out to me: He said that the concept of human beings having the ability to converse with – and make requests of – the Almighty creator of the universe seems arrogant.

Wow. What’s really striking to me is that he’s right. Who are we, really? Outside the context of Christianity, humans are just another species in a long evolutionary procession. Sure, we seem to have control of the planet now, but from a scientific viewpoint, we’re just one species among billions, and our time for global dominance will eventually end, just as the dinosaurs’ did. With respect to the divine, we have no more right to approach God than the ants do.

And yet we do have, if not the right, then at least the opportunity. As Christians in our society, we seem to take God and His omnipotence for granted. Not only do we assume the right to make petitions before God, we demand it. “God, get me out of this mess.” “God, why did you allow this to happen to me?” “God, fix my… [insert problem here: job, marriage, kids, etc.].”

I, for one, am grateful for that author’s column. It has reminded me of the incredible privilege I’ve been given. Not only does the Almighty creator of the universe know me and care about me, but He allows me into His presence. I’m free to be in His presence, to worship Him, and yes, to converse with and make requests of Him. That’s a perspective I’d like to keep in mind.

Rental Car

Check out the title bar in the screen shot below. It makes me wonder about the vehicle we'll be renting.

Staci: Follow-Up

So Staci went to her doctor today to see where things stand. As it turns out, things are about as normal as they can be. The CAT scan and other tests came back indicating that almost everything was completely normal; the one aberration was an inflammation in her sinuses, but Staci would’ve guessed that based on the allergies she’s been experiencing over the last week or so.

Staci’s doctor took the time to listen to her whole version of events, and it was reassuring to Staci to hear her doctor say things like, “Wow, that is scary.” (One would always rather hear that from a doctor than, “Um, I think you need to reconsider your reaction to such trivial events.”!) Dr. Stewart also reiterated her belief that Staci had a complex migraine. It’s also interesting to note that Staci never had a severe headache, but Dr. Stewart said some people have complex migraines without ever having a headache.

So you may be wondering (as we were) what caused it in the first place. I suspect that’s as much guess as diagnosis, but WebMD mentions several contributing factors that affected Staci:

• MSG is considered a factor in up to 30% of migraines.
  Not to impugn Pei Wei, but Staci had lunch there on Sunday, and leftovers on Monday.


• Stress.
  Staci’s school is a big contributing factor, plus I was out of town all weekend.


• Lack of sleep.
  See above.


• Caffeine.
  See above!

Thus, it seems Staci’s reaction may have been caused by a “perfect storm” of contributing factors that all came together at the same time. As for how to keep it from coming back… well, the best hope is that this was a one-time event that won’t happen again. Then again, Dr. Stewart gave Staci samples of drugs she can try with ensuing migraines at the first sign of repeat symptoms. (Of course, Staci would prefer not to have reason to take the samples!) If Staci does continue to have repeat symptoms, she can get a preventive drug to limit this kind of migraine, but the doctor didn’t feel that’s necessary at this point.

Staci, 10:30pm

And just like that, it was over….

Staci was ravenously hungry by 9:30pm, so I sought and got permission to get her some food. (ER patients have to get permission for things like eating and drinking.)

Meanwhile, a doctor came in shortly after I left and told Staci her tests looked really good, everything checked out well, and that it seemed that Staci had had a complex migraine. This sounded a lot better than words like “stroke” and “heart attack,” so Staci was very pleased with this diagnosis. She did, however, ask a pretty obvious question: “What’s a complex migraine?”

The answer wasn’t so straightforward; it seems there are all sorts of migraines. Some people have the incredibly painful headache, coupled with sensitivity to light and noise, while others get a sharp stomach ache. The symptoms Staci experienced – vision problems, followed by headache, followed by neurological problems – apparently describe, pretty aptly, what’s called a complex migraine.

The doctors at UMC wanted Staci to visit her doctor, and it just so happens that she has an appointment for a checkup tomorrow (3/4). Her doctor concurred that Staci should go home tonight and go in for an office visit tomorrow. Meanwhile, Staci is supposed to rest, drink fluids, and avoid driving for 24 hours.

I told Staci it feels like we drove home and scared away a burglar who was just about to break into our house: There’s a big sense of relief that nothing bad happened, but you’re still left with a big wad of anxiety and stress over what could’ve happened.

Anyway, I want to offer a big THANKS to all our friends who prayed for us tonight and wanted to be kept in the loop. Times like this remind us just how blessed we are!

Staci, 7:50pm

So we waited for nearly two hours in the waiting room. Once Staci got back to a room, a youngling doctor came in and asked for a full medical history (“Well, first, I was born…”). After doing a barrage of quick checks, he gave a quick sypnosis of his take on things: He said that given Staci’s age and her history of high blood pressure and having lost a child, they’re likely to want to do a full workup to start ruling things out. He said that some of her symptoms indicate a TIA, while others don’t.

He also asked for our opinion on being admitted overnight. (Isn’t that kinda like asking if you want to be audited? “No, but if that’s how I avoid penalties for tax evasion, then OK.”) We told him an outpatient stay would be much preferable, but that finding out what happened trumps all. He said he’d check with some of the other doctors – including his boss – and they’d decide on a course of action.

Quick update: A tech just knocked on the door and said it's time for a cat scan. The next update will include info on that. (I tried to say we don't own a cat, but they don't seem to care....)

Staci, 4:00pm

This afternoon, Staci started noticing “ripples” in her right eye, like a puddle. Shortly after that, she developed a dull headache. Shortly after that, she went to get Mikea and a friend from school. On the way back to Trinity, she realized she had thoughts going on in her head, but was unable to string together coherent words. That’s when she called me. When she got back to Trinity, she started writing down a timeline of her symptoms, and her right ring finger started tingling and going numb. All this occurred over the period of about an hour.

I met her over at Trinity, and soon after that, many of her symptoms started getting better. We’re still waiting in the emergency room, and she still has a headache and shakiness. She takes blood pressure medicine, but when they took her vitals, it was 146/87. That’s really high for her (esp. with her BP medicine), but we were told that’s not alarmingly high.